Breaking News: Cupcake Racism "Increasingly Specialised"

Cupcakes don't discriminate against one another based on the colour of their icing, but on the fruit content of their recipe.

This is why fruitcakes always try to conceal themselves beneath a layer of marzipan.

Breaking News: EDL Protest

Because there's nothing more redolent of a traditional British teatime treat than a nice cup of tea and some racism.